Friday, December 28, 2012

Back up ladies!

Sammy's little brother. I'll call him the lil bro. He's going to a basketball game with a girl today! And with the family as well. So I don't know if that makes it a date, since his parents will be there and parents usually don't come on first dates. You never know though. . . 

Anyways. Every time I hear about him going out with girls or see him with girls who obviously like him but he won't admit it, or him and girls in general, I get all weird. I feel like ripping these girl's heads off. A growl builds up in the back of my throat. I thought something was seriously wrong with me. Why was I feeling this way?! I have no reason to care if he's with girls! I LOVE HIS BROTHER!

I finally figured it out. I'M BEING PROTECTIVE! AHHHH! Just like how I'll be for my flesh and blood brother. He's practically my brother now, and I know just how nasty girls can be and I don't want them messing with my little bro. That is not ok. I may look sweet, but I also can have a nasty streak if I want. So back up ladies. Big sister Kylee is looking out for her lil bro. 

Jealous? ok yeah.

I've got a confession to make. A lot of my friends have been getting engaged lately. The entirety of my church group from two summers ago is married and/or almost married. My best friend from seminary (religion classes during high school) is getting married next week. Another girl married tomorrow! And then I just saw one of the girls in my dorm got engaged. I'm excited for them I really am! What a special time in their lives! But, every time I see this I also get a little bit jealous.

The girl from seminary? She met her fiance in September. Went on a date in October. Was engaged two weeks later. Other girl? Only dated a month before engagement. Everyone else? Dated less than a year. My parents themselves only dated three months before getting engaged. I get that this happens and works for many people. That when you know you just know. 

But. Whenever I see it I can't help but feel a bit jealous. And I hate that I feel that way. 

Why do I? Because I've been with Sammy for two years. I've known he's the one for over a year. There's nothing that I want more than to be his wife and spend every night with him. To have spent Christmas with him. To fight over how to load the dishwasher with him. And then all these other people meet, and get to go right to that stage. It just gives me a huge knot in my stomach of jealousy. I want it so bad. I want to go to the temple so bad, to be sealed for time and all eternity. And I can't yet. 

I know my time will come, and it's closer than I think. I also know I'll know my husband much better than most when they get married. That we already know how to communicate when we're frustrated without ripping each other's heads off. But, I still get jealous. I'm working on it. I'll congratulate them tomorrow. Tonight I'll scream in my pillow. 

The jacket

Since Sammy couldn't come with, I stole his jacket in revenge. Ok, he actually gave it to me to borrow for the week. I haven't worn smelly lotion since in hopes to preserve the Sammy smell. So far, the two of us, the jacket and I, have gotten through a really long car ride. Sitting by a fireplace. Great food. Holding a baby. Indian war cries to get deer out of the road. A beautiful funeral service. Many, many naps. Lot's of hugs. And much more.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012


Today didn't go exactly how I expected it to. I wasn't expecting to spend Christmas on the road, heading to a funeral. Or Christmas away from my love because of the short notice and he couldn't come. Or bloated the size of a whale because mother nature decided to visit today.

Today wasn't exactly how I expected it to go. But that's ok. It's still Christmas. I got to spend it with my family. I wish I could have spent it with my love as well, watching Elf and re-reading about the birth of Christ. I got to wish a bunch of strangers in the state of Wyoming a Merry Christmas.

Hoping everyone else had one as well. What a wonderful day of love and family.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Hot Tamales

After a week full of work and barely seeing each other, Saturday with Sammy was muchly needed! It also turned out to be tamale making day. His mom makes them once a year for Christmas, and she goes all out. Last year she taught me how to make them and it was a cool experience. How many people get to make tamales? Sammy hadn't even before that! On Christmas Sammy brought over the finished tamales and my sister LOVED THEM! She's been asking all year when there would be more, so when I heard it was tamale day I was excited!

But alas, all did not stay well. Haha! We went to a little Mexican restaurant for dinner. It was a cute little place. When I first started dating Sammy, my poor little tummy couldn't handle all the authentic mexican cooking. But over time I've gotten an itty bit more used to it. So I felt brave going in and got THE SUPREME QUESADILLA! It had chicken, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, sour cream, and guacamole! Now, this may not sound that risky of a choice, but you haven't met my tummy. When my quesadilla arrived, it was huge! And it was delicious. So. Delicious. All was well.

Then out of nowhere I felt my stomach sink. Uh oh. Oh. No. I honestly thought I was going to be sick at the table. But then I started going through my little mental breathing exercises I do when this happens. When you have puke-a-phobia and panic attacks, you get very good at this. We got back to Sammy's house and I still felt really sick, so we just relaxed for a bit. Learned about the amish mafia. Talk about quality television right there. 

Then the tamale making began. And I still felt sick. So we made them for a bit, then went back to snuggling. Quality tamale making time with whole family=15 minutes. Awesome cuddling time= a few hours. 

I'm ok with that. 

Saturday, December 22, 2012

His & Her Q&A

 His&Her Q&A

Our first time doing this! Here goes nothing!
(I felt totally bad when he sent me his answers and they were all so incredibly/heartfelt/awesome/touching/yeah)

Describe how your other half dresses.
His:  My other half, or as I like to say my better half, Kylee; dresses with a colorful, laid back, fun style that brings a smile to my face. She gets creative with her outfits including  long crazy socks with a cute dress and different scarves. She wears her pink Toms with pride. Always looking beautiful and fun for every occasion whether its school, or church, or even just a day inside when it’s cold out. Kylee has great style unlike any other girl. To me at least.

Her: Classy, yet awesome at the same time. He always wears dress shirts, sweaters, and such, but there's usually an awesome t-shirt underneath. Perhaps Superman-esque would be a better word?

What is one quality your other half has that you hope your children inherit?
His:   I hope our children take her smarts for one cause Kylee is one smart woman! Also, I hope they take her kindness towards others. I hope they inherit her creativeness and quick wittedness. I hope they take after Kylee’s sense of humor and love for conversing with family and friends. And I hope they inherit her appreciation and joy for the Heavenly Father, Christ, and Scripture.
Her: His ability to love everyone and see the best in them.

What are some amazing talents your other half has?
His: Kylee has many talents that always leave me impressed. Kylee can write. And I mean write. Her words have such voice and character its pretty amazing that talent she has. She can create other worlds and people in her stories that she loves to write. Kylee can also drum pretty hard, I admire her for that because drumming is pretty difficult I was terrible at it when she first tried to teach me. So many things to worry about at once! Kylee also has a talent communicating well with others. To me that is a pretty great talent, many don’t do that well. She does it incredibly. Kylee has many talents that leave me loving her more.
Her: His faith, optimism, patience, Madden skills, knowledge of cars and LOTR.

What team/school are you an anti-fan of/is your biggest rival?
His: The Green Bay Packers. I respect Aaron Rodgers and his talent at playing quarterback, but as a die-hard Chicago Bears fan, I THROUGHLY AND PASSIONATELY DISLIKE THE GREEN BAY PACKERS. Clay Matthews grinds me freaking gears.
Her: Byu. I spent my very first months of life living in UofU student housing.

Who was your very first crush?
His:  Oh man, I’m sure it was probably in like second grade or third grade or something, I don’t even remember.
Her: Alec Lowry. He lived down the street and we got married. Then he moved to Alaska when I was 7.

What gets you inspired?
His: When I see the goodness in people. Random acts of kindness inspire me. Hope inspires me.
Her: Reading/hearing about other's lives and seeing they went through similar situations as I am. 

What's a TV show that has ended that you wish would come back?
His:   Well, The Office is about to end this season. I wish Steve Carrell was still on and it did not have to end.
Her: That's So Raven. Oh SNAP!

What is one of the first conversations you remember having together?
His: One of the first conversations I remember having with Kylee is when she chatted me up on Facebook asking me about math homework and asking me if I had crazy socks for Rock Sock Friday. This was junior year of high school.

Her: He asked me if I wanted to be his wizard partner on our weird partner sheets. Since I'd never seen him before that day, and he was asking if I wanted to be his wizard partner, I obviously concluded he thought I was sexy.

What is a hobby you would like to get into at some point?
His: Working out. Lifting weights definitely, my arms are getting pretty sad. But school gets in the way. As does Skyrim, Madden, Fifa, and NBA 2k! And of course food. Who has time to lift?
Her: I want to know how to fix cars.

About when did you know you were in love with your other half?
His: Valentine’s Day 2011. At the end of the day, when Kylee drove off and had to go home after an amazing Valentine’s Day, I went inside my house after saying goodbye and sat on my couch and reflected on what her and I shared. I was in love with Kylee. I felt such happiness and joy and giddiness inside myself at the end of that day. I knew I loved her. Was in love with her. I knew she was different. There was something very special about her. I was right. And now, it is about to be our two year anniversary. Valentine’s Day 2011 was the day I knew I was in love.
Her: We usually went on a date every weekend. There was one weekend where he was grounded or something, and then there was no school the following Monday. It was only three days but I missed him TERRIBLY! When I saw him that Tuesday, I knew I loved him and didn't let him go all day long. And that's when I finally started holding his hand and not slipping it out because, I loved him. I never wanted to spend another three days away from him. 

Friday, December 21, 2012


Sammy loves him some philosophy. So much so that it's in the title of the blog. But not enough to make it his major. He really, really, really loves it though. Naturally he talks about it with me which I love. I love seeing his passion. I try my best to listen and to understand. Honestly, most of it goes over my head though.

He's tried to convince me to take a philosophy class but I'm very hesitant to do so. Not just because it makes my head hurt like crazy and I'm easily convinced of things so I take the first stance, then hear the other one, and they all make sense so how am I supposed to pick ahh! Nope, there's a kid in my honers program. He's a philosophy major. He drives me insane. I am perfectly aware that all people are different and the fact that philosophy is his major doesn't mean that all people who like philosophy or take a philosophy class will be like him, but it's still one of my reasons.

Example: We all had to write a research paper about a self actualizing utopia for our final. One day, half of our three hour class was to be spent giving two minute presentations on what our papers were going to be about. Forty kids x two minutes each = eighty minutes. There would still be plenty of time for other things afterwards. I was excited to present and ready to go. One problem though, our professor announced that we would be doing presentations in alphabetical order. My last name was very last in the class. I really, really hate alphabetical order.

The presentations went on. They were pretty good. We were through the d's when I glanced at the clock. An hour had already passed. I started getting nervous, but told myself hey, there probably isn't a ton of people in the middle of the alphabet, we'll be to the end soon enough. It'd been an hour and a half by the time we got to philosophy major, with a last name beginning with L. His presentation was five minutes. His utopia was so crazy, everyone had their hands up to argue with him. And boy, can he argue. Or should I say debate? He went all philosophical on every comment.

Once he was forced to sit down, he decided he needed to point out the philosophical problems of everyone else's Utopia's when they presented and get in debates with them. They were interesting conversations and all, but hey. THE REST OF US NEED TO PRESENT. And there's now only twenty minutes of class and fifteen people left to go. Those were some of the tensest minutes of my life, ever. I hate doing presentations and I was actually ready for this one. I wanted to show the professors what I could do. But Mr. Philosophy over there was killing me with his so whats?

Mr. Philosophy major has turned me off to the subject, quite a bit. Which I feel bad about since it's so important to Sammy. I thank the heavens every day that he isn't as obnoxious as the kid in my class. Maybe in a couple years I'll take a chance and take a philosophy class. Who knows? I'll still listen to all the stories and support him in his love. As long as he doesn't ask philosophical questions while I'm trying to vent. Venting is sacred.

Dating who I "shouldn't."

Ever since I was little, religion has been a very important part of my life. It's a huge part of what makes me who I am. What I'm comfortable with. The way I live my life. It's always been an important part of life and always will be. (In case you're curious, I'm LDS, aka Mormon, aka The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.)

The goal of going to the temple and being sealed for time and all eternity is something I've heard about my whole life. And it's something that I want very much. The thing is, both people have to be members of the church and worthy to go into the temple to be married there. Which is why, from a young age, we're encourage to date only those who share the same religion as us. You're one day going to fall madly in love with someone you date, and how awful would it be to not be able to spend time and eternity with that person because you both can't go to the temple. I heard that advice over and over when I was growing up, stored it in the back of my head, and said eh, that's not going to happen to me.

It did.

I met Sammy in high school. Realized there was something completely different about him from all the other guys. We started dating. I told myself that this was just dating, just because we were dating didn't mean we were going to be perfect for each other and fall in love and one day want to be married. Then as time went on, I realized I couldn't picture myself with anyone else other than him. And it broke my heart. Because, I wouldn't be able to go to the temple with him.

I had people on all sides telling me to end it. My bishop, my parents, my grandparents, leaders. They told me that I could find a returned missionary in college and he could take me there, and it would be a much easier path saving me from pain and tears. Little rebel me said no way to all them and kept fighting for Sammy. I had no idea what the future held, what was going on inside him. I just knew I wanted Sammy and I'd take the harder path for him.

As time went on, I watched as Sammy started investigating the church and having his change of heart. I didn't push him. I told him I loved him no matter what happened. But inside I leaped for joy every time he learned something new and said it made sense to him and he believed it. As he learned I learned along with him and believed in my faith even strongly than ever before. The more we learned together, the more importance I had for the temple, and wanting to go there.

Sammy wanted to see the temple, and the day we visited it together was a special one. You can read about that here. After that day, we both knew what we wanted. The question was just how to get there.

It hasn't been easy. I can't count how many nights I've cried because I'm just so frustrated and it's so hard and why can't we just get there already? It almost tore us apart, but at the same time it's shown us how strong we are as a couple. Sammy is still working things out for himself, and we're deciding what's best to do for the two of us. But there's one thing I know for sure. The two of us are going to make it. We're going to make it to the temple. How do I know this? I was at the temple after all those hard months of questioning and prayer, and then I finally got my answer. What a special experience.

I dated who I "shouldn't." And it hasn't always been easy. But, it's been worth it for me. I know that this particular situation doesn't end up working for everyone, and that it can be heartbreaking. Hence the warning. But I wouldn't do it any other way. As long as I get him. For forever.

The awkward time

It's a pretty awkward time right now. Sammy and I know we are getting married. We have a pretty good idea when. But, we can't announce it yet. First off, he needs to propose. Second, some things need to come into place first, like our jobs and such. And, my family knows all about what's going on but his doesn't. They come from the idea that one doesn't get married until one has graduated from college and gotten a great job. That's fine for most people, but it just isn't going to cut it for us. We've been together for two years already. Why wait three, four more years for it? Yeah, we're going to be poor. Yes, it's going to be hard. But it's also going to be worth it. That's not what this post is about though. I'll save that for another day.

It's an awkward time because I just want to shout it to the world! I want to tell people how I've already decided what shoes I'm wearing to my wedding. I want to show them my dream dress. Talk details and advice. Wonder if anyone else freaked out with all the ring options out there in the world, wondering if they're going to break though and look as good in the picture in real life. Explain why we're deciding to do what we're doing. And hopefully have some excitement the other way as well.

But since he hasn't proposed, and the other reasons this is on the down low, I'll just go ahead with this awkward time. I'm glad I can share it with the blog world though ;)

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Kissing pictures?

I have never once posted a kissing picture on the internet. Ever. Well, lip to lip action that is. I've just never felt comfortable doing it. My parents can see that. My grandparents can see that. And everyone I know can see that. That doesn't stop everyone else from doing so though, and there's nothing wrong with that. There's just a few things I can't get over.

1. What if people think I kiss weird? Ok, this is the main reason I don't post pictures. I myself think I am a great kisser. And so is Sammy. I am perfectly content with our kissing. But what if for some reason, I post a kissing picture and I'm doing it "wrong." I know I myself will laugh if I'm looking at friends kissing pictures and they look weird. All I can think of is watching Romeo and Juliet back in 9th grade and my teacher pointing out how awful a kisser DiCaprio was. I know I look to see if people are silly, so I don't want other's to do that to me.

2. What if my boss sees it?
I have become aware that my boss has a facebook, and if she wanted to spend all the time to find me, she could look at them. And that would just be awkward.

3. I've never seen my parents kiss. It's true. When I saw a picture of them kissing on their wedding day, I felt all awkward inside because I'd never seen such a thing before. I'm aware that they kiss though, otherwise how could I possibly be here, I've just never seen it in person. So why post pictures of me doing an act they don't feel comfortable doing in front of me right on their computers.

Although, that doesn't stop me from kissing in front of them. But that's not ever lasting like a picture.

4. It's plain awkward to take kissing pictures. How do you take the pictures anyways? Have a friend stand there clicking while you get it on? Awkwardly hold your arm out as far as you can and hope it doesn't look weird? Maybe a timer perhaps? I just can't think of a normal way to get it done.

But with those four reasons, I'm about to break my rules.

Awful lighting, I'm looking at the camera, barely even kissing. Great picture huh?


I'm a self proclaimed writer. Aren't we all though? When I was 9, I decided I was going to write an epic love story for my grandma. Which is how the enduring tale of Dino and Krystal the antelopes came to be. Ever since then, I've been trying to write a better story. Currently a college student studying, creative writing. Hopefully that dream is on it's way to coming true. Luckily I was born with curly hair so my ineptness with hair products doesn't matter.

He's a philosopher. He can find all the sides and angles in something as simple as a commercial. He's forever asking questions to better understand everything. He wants to make a difference in this world and is always up to date on his politics. He hates chocolate and ice cream but will eat anything else. Along with all that, he looks pretty great in plaid. 

We met in high school trig class. It wasn't love at first sight. But as time went on, and I learned some patience, we eventually became friends and now best friends. I knew a few months in that this was something different and I wanted to spend my forever with him. That was two years ago and we're getting ready to spend our lives together. 

So obviously, this deserves it's own blog.